About

Something something born in a lincoln log cabin made from pure 100% weapons-grade lincoln. Then I grew quickly like at least 5 fathoms per fortnight as was the custom at the time. Since I shot up like a weed I was in constant danger from the military who tried to douse me repeatedly in agent orange.

After that I proceeded to not only do things but also stuff.

Sometimes I play the guitar with which I strum only the tastiest of licks. When people hear me sing in front of a giant box fan with a variable rheostat to control the RPMs connected to a foot pedal, they think to themselves what a regular jongleur, and how did I know that on account of my telepathy which I learned straight from Uri Gellar himself. Often they wish to rub my vocal cords for good luck. It is soothing and the resultant increased elasticity gives me my superpower to swallow 5000 eggs so I’m roughly the size of a barge.

But don’t take my word for it, you can find out yourself after the inevitable warp core breech.